Aku: The Very First Malay Novel I Read With LGBT+ Theme || A Book Review / Ulasan Buku

Aku

Author: Shaz Johar

Publisher: Buku Fixi

Released: March 29th, 2019

Genre: Fiction, Contemporary, LGBT+

Pages: 328

Format: Paperback

Characters: Ghazi, Danial, Anna, Sari, Shi, Julia, …

English

Aku (I, literal translation) follows Ghazi, a 45 year old man who also appears to be gay. He meets Danial again after 10 years not hearing from him and from there, they started to pick up the spark that they had years back. However, along the way, Ghazi went through several issues and doubts regarding Danial’s love and loyalty towards him and also worry about his responsibilities and the consequences he needs to face if he seizes the chance. What if he is again let down by Danial, can he afford it?

This story tells about the stigma of the LGBT+ community in Malaysia. The acceptance of the society towards them and a journey of a man who tries really hard in his life to love and to be loved by someone.

Malay (Goodreads)

Selepas 10 tahun menghilang, Danial kembali untuk mengutip sisa yang telah lama aku kumam. Pelbagai soalan mula muncul ketika mahu membuat keputusan. Berapa lamakah jangka hayat sebenar untuk kita melupakan cinta pertama? Dapatkah aku terus jalani hidup dengan bahagia jika memilih untuk tidak lagi menyimpan rahsia daripada semua? 40s, single and lonely. Sejauh manakah kita mampu berlari jika tua makin mengejar kita?

English

Bear with me, guys, I read another local Malay book, that means here goes another long ass review. I just want to address this real quickly, that all I have to say, including some criticisms, is my opinions and feelings towards this book, nothing against the author or the publisher. I’ll definitely have lots to say about this book and I don’t want to keep repeating myself about “this is JUST my views and opinions” all the time, just to make it clear.

This is my first time reading a Shaz Johar book and he has 10 books published and out in the stores. So, he is a successful writer and I’m just a basic next door reviewer who tried reading his book for the first time. So, here are my thoughts about Aku (I, literal translation). First of all, the writing style really caught my attention. It’s different from the previous Fixi books that I have read. The author loves to describe everything, his voice sounds almost very formal, not too lay back like most of the books I read under this publication and I like it. The descriptions sometimes are quite humorous and it really helps the reader to picture the characters and the actions in this book. But at certain parts, it could be a little bit unnecessary, some details are just serving no purpose. All in all, I respect his writing style and I quite enjoyed it. Oh, also, this book is written in the first POV and I like that too!

Next, this book centers around a 45 year old man, Ghazi, who’s gay and he has a daughter and a long lost lover. Bear in mind, that the lover, Danial, might be in his 50’s? Definitely older than the main character. I have read so many books center around this theme and I always find it cute. But reading it in Malay, the words spoken by the characters and their behaviour somehow carry a different feeling and vibe. I was uncomfortable when there are like a bit steamy scenes popped up in the first 100 pages. Then, I realised, I gotta read this book and treat it like any other English book that I have read to be fair to it. However, I just didn’t get any more of 18+ scenes after that. It’s not that I crave for it but I WAS READY for things to get more intense and see how it feels like to read it in Malay. It just didn’t happen and all I got was the after scenes, where these two old men laying on the bed and being cuddly, that’s all I got. Uh… Yea. Another thing is THEIR VOICES, especially Ghazi’s voice. These two adult men are speaking as if they are what, 15? It was so cringey when they are not acting their age. I tried to accept that, but somehow it just didn’t work for me.

However, the other characters, for me were quite cool. We have Anna, the main character’s best friend who’s always so smart and she advises Ghazi (MC) a lot. I quite like her. We have the daughter, Sari and her girlfriend, Shi, whom are somehow mature at their age. They do stupid stuff but they’re likable. I also like Julia, Ghazi’s late wife. She’s basically a ghost and only Ghazi could see her. I think her character really adds that extra something to the story. Danial, who’s the lover, has been on and off the radar and his character is rather mysterious. This could be either good or bad. Good, because it makes readers more curious and keep on reading. Bad, because it leaves the story with SO MANY question marks. I don’t think TOO many question marks for readers is a good thing.

Then, I have some issues regarding the language. This part is going to be a little bit hard for me to explain in English but I’ll try.

1. The usage of fillers. There’s only one used, which is “meh”. Meh is used at the end of the sentence, usually by the Chinese in Malaysia and it is used to ask questions. It’s used correctly in the book BUT there is a coma before the filler “meh” in one of the dialogue, which shouldn’t be because it makes the sentence weird and we don’t say a sentence, pause and then say meh. It doesn’t sound good. It sounds exaggerated.
   
2. There was only one spelling error that I noticed. It’s nothing serious but I’m being that annoying biss trying to point out every single thing in this book.

I also applaud the author for trying to be diverse by inserting some side characters who are Chinese and Indian for a page or two. Their appearance was planned really well, as the author tried to build his plot and story line. And of course, in the end, I really have so much respect for the author. He actually wrote a book that speaks out the voice of the LGBT+ community in Malaysia. It’s not easy to be a Muslim, gay, lesbian or even bi AND a MALAYSIAN. The stereotype and the society’s acceptance is really low here. It’s extra difficult for them. Though the words or comments used in this book is something that we always listen to, sort of like typical but I believe it’s relatable for the people of the LGBT+ community.

Malay

Disclaimer: Semua kritikan or pandangan yang diberi is 100% on me. Takde apa-apa tujuan buruk nak menjatuhkan sesiapa ke. It’s not that deep, ini adalah sekadar ulasan buku biasa dari seorang reviewer. That’s all. Sebelum mulakan ulasan, tahniah buat penulis Aku, Shaz Johar atas penerbitan buku ke-10 beliau. That, itself speaks a lot, he’s good in what he’s doing.

Benda pertama sekali yang tarik perhatian aku ialah gaya penulisan penulis. Semua aksi, watak, dan almost everything diberikan gambaran yang sangat detail. Aku enjoy sebenarnya dengan gaya penulisan macam ni sebab sebagai pembaca, kita dapat imagine everything in the book dengan jelas, semua benda macam serba lengkap lah. Cuma, kadang-kadang, it’s overdone. Penerangan sesetengah scenes tu macam takde tujuan yang solid. Tapi sebagai pembaca, aku hormat cara penulis hendak menceritakan cerita beliau dan nice sebenarnya gaya penulisan Shaz Johar ni. Lain daripada yang lain. Oh, aku suka juga story ni ditulis dari perspektif pertama, so:

Alright, moving on to watak. Ghazi sebagai watak utama, seorang duda berumur 45 tahun dan dia gay. Pastu, kekasih lama dia, Danial dalam lingkungan 50-an, mungkin? But tua la dua-dua watak ni. And benda yang paling susah nak hadam is cara dia orang bercakap dan behave, seakan-akan orang muda, ala remaja. Aku cuba lah juga terima kan, tapi tak boleh *nangis kat bucu katil*. Bagi aku, dua orang watak ni, especially Ghazi, kadang cara dia cakap tu buat aku cringe, so it was a no-no. However, watak-watak lain dalam buku ni semua aku suka. Kawan baik Ghazi, Anna, dia ada banyak isu tapi pada masa yang sama, dia cool dan dia sangatlah best friend material, very wise at certain point. Pastu, anak perempuan Ghazi, Sari dan awek dia, Shi. Dua orang watak ni pun likable. Dia orang buat benda bodoh la juga tapi disebabkan dia orang remaja, so memang tu la perwatakan remaja. Oh, aku suka gila dengan watak Julia, dia basically hantu la kot, ataupun she’s just in Ghazi’s head and Ghazi sorang je boleh nampak dia. Watak Julia ni bagi aku, dia buat buku ni lagi best.

Nak cakap awal-awal, buku ni tak sesuai untuk pembaca muda, sebab dia ada babak-babak yang kurang sesuai untuk pembaca yang kurang matang. Aku selalu je baca novel Inggeris yang ada elemen LGBT+ dan boleh juga accept their behaviour, etc. Tapi mungkin sebab ni buku Melayu, buku Malaysia, aku rasa awkward sikit la bila baca about the gay community told in Malaysia. So, lepas a couple of adegan yang melibatkan meraba-raba semua tu, I was like, aku kena terima the characters’ behaviour just like aku baca English novels. Lepas tu, lepas aku dah ready nak terima adegan yang even MORE than what I was served, tapi takde lagi dah. Cuma ada babak selepas sahaja, Ghazi dan Danial baring-baring atas katil, peluk-peluk, macam tu je. Tak tau nak rasa apa, sebab sumpah aku ingat akan lagi intense lepas tu, but oh well.

Ayuh, kita bergerak kepada permasalahan penggunaan bahasa buku ini (dah serupa pendebat dah cara aku cakap). So masalah dia sikit je, sekali je for each mistake. Tapi aku rasa benda ni kena dibincangkan juga.

1. Penggunaan “meh”. Meh ni orang Cina selalu guna untuk tanya soalan di akhir ayat. Dalam buku ni, penggunaan “meh” ni betul, tapi koma sebelum “meh” tu spoil sikit. Terbantut masa aku baca dialog from the Chinese lady. Patutnya takde koma la, sebab bila letak koma kan kita akan pause dalam ayat tu, so percakapan tu jadi janggal. Benda ni is really based on my experience as a Chinese. We don’t exaggerate our fillers. (Boleh refer gambar atas)
2. Then ada kesalahan ejaan, satu je pun haha. Nothing much.

Anyhow, aku suka effort penulis yang nak nampakkan diversity in Malaysia. Dia masukkan sikit-sikit watak sampingan Cina dan India. Kalau dalam drama, dia macam cameo, muncul sekejap-sekejap je. Last sekali, baca Aku ni, dia buka minda, buka my acceptance on Malay writing berkisarkan LGBT+. Banyak stigma Malaysian sebagai gay dan lesbian diutarakan, much respect to the author for that.

Would I recommend this book? If you like descriptive writing style, I’d totally recommend you this book. Other than that, it’s really hard to say but I think this book worth a try. Also, shoutout to Gallery Bookstore for gifting me this book because I won their giveaway!